How to celebrate Thanksgiving in Amsterdam
1 week ago
All the good guys are taken
It was rainy and I still remember how it felt like that day. Cold and lonely with a little pint of warmth hence the shiver drove through but I was smiling, a crazy sense of indescribable expectation, I was on a date, not just a date, it was my second date.
The sidewalk was packed with wet pedestrians, people getting off from their cars and the valet parking guy storming out with big size umbrellas. I was sitting in the bar waiting for you looking out on the window watching people who got caught up in the rain, I was hoping to have a romantic song in the background but my head kept on playing tom’s diner by susanne vega.
It was my third glass of coke when the bartender asked me if I want another one, alas I said yes, I’ve been sitting there for two hours, while he winked he added a little bit of rum to my glass. Tell me Mr. Bartender how many times have you seen someone waiting for his date to come but didn’t show up? He smiled and told me to go home.
The rum kicked in and the anger builds up so I called him instead.
No response
Then a text hits me back
“I’m sorry but my wife is here, she wants me to stay with her”
My deepest condolences
In loving memory of Chiphet’s mother passed away on sat 15 Oct 2011 18.40
The funny thing is, through all these years I’m hanging out in your place, I never know your mother’s name, for me she’s just a sweet and loving ‘tante’.
My deepest condolences
The Perfect Man
Josh Chry made a comment about the pic above which i used it as my profile pic in facebook.
"the perfect man has a smile like this"
It's hard to believe that the perfection isn't human,
while we lurks over battlefield of love in a club or dating sites we only get a 5 minutes whoopie.
Saturday night, I'm all alone in my room again, too tired to go out and stuck in the middle of my marathon moviez about a ninja, how to lose a guy in 10 days, friends, and ice age. Just a random pick.
a buzz telling a text message coming in from my cellies. I'm still using cellies, yes I'm weird I dont like crackberries the same thing with gay dating shit due I refused an invitation to go to club from a friend, I don't really like noisy places. you told me about the cute guys there, pick one and ready to go. No thanks but I already had my random pick today. *smiling* Two gays two different worlds.
I can vividly picture this in my mind,
you, drinking your beer moving to the rhythm of the beat, and flirt to this really cute guy wearing a white t shirt.
me, holding my pillow watching crappy movies.
you, walking tipsy on your way to his place for a crazy night in a lala land.
me, in bed alone jerking off watching porn.
in the morning we got up and thinking we're happy and all right with our life.
you, sitting on his bed with a hangover and a tad of pain on your ass.
me, eating my sandwich and coffee watching a cute jogger running with his dog and thinking about having one of my own.
while you still digging over piles of clothes looking for your underwear, i'm sober enough to think that our life sucks. maybe i'm just lazy, too lazy to find the right one, and if josh was right that the perfect man has a smile like that is a teddy bear well i'm too lazy to go to toys r us.
confession made, i'm just butt lazy.
good night folks.
My January 2011
In my cold and damp room I sat there thinking about the trilling year I had in 2010.
A lot of things changed, I like tea then I need my daily caffeine boost just to stay awake in the office, and now I’m here with a can of root beer.
I know it’s kinda late to talk about this but hey, let’s talk about my New Year resolution; don’t have one.
I’m still focusing on my last year resolution, to be more honest with myself, for all the people who let me down and use me in an unmentionable way, so brutal that it leaves a scar in my heart.
I’ve been telling myself to write an email to them and tell them how I feel, I didn’t do it.
I don’t know why, though I’m sure they don’t give a shit so why bother.
The company that I work for is changing into a concentration camp, I gave my yearly financial statements report and just realized that the boss wants the company profitless. While we confront him he told us that it’s not our problem to think about the profit all we have to do is make more revenues. What do you think we are, a five year old?
He’s avoiding tax; smart. But a company without a heart and treat the employees like slaves; insane.
i think it's a lot more reasonable to use the profit in a form of a bonus or increasing the salary instead of buying expensive furniture (for his wife).
I was chatting with my friend on facebook early on and told me that two of my friends are resigning, and he too is thinking about moving to a new place. I’ve been working here for more than two years now, the place sucks but the team is great. I couldn’t find any other place that I can easily come out as a gay person and they accept me with an open heart. They are more than a family.
I can still feel the goosebumps on my shoulder running through my arms.
I’m thinking about pursuing another career in Bali or moving back to Jakarta.
I love my friends
And now I’m scared
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