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Stucked in a Horrible Office Politics





Jakarta, 8 Aug 2019

Just had a picture taken this afternoon; the Starbucks had a 50% sale, was hanging out with office crews, and I was in a good mood.
It was all swell and dandy. The picture was great, and I love it.
So I decided to add it in several dating apps, you know; the funny thing about these apps is you say the people there, like, every day but when you add a new picture then, boom, you're like the new guy on the block but like, hello, I live here.
Anyway, it turns out that an old user I was chatted through WhatsApp since June 2018 said Hi to me and we arranged a meet up in a mini-mart next to the KPK red and white building.  He is a silver fox kind of guy that I can easily swoon over, not to mention he's been working out so, yeah, life's pretty good so far.
He told me about his past life, born in Singapore, raised in SF, living a fab life with a partner that was deceased 6 years ago. Although he is a spiritual and claim to be open-minded, there's something that I still haven't get a grip on the way he sees things, like; he doesn't believe in marriages between male to male and that kind of things is weird because gays should be just partners and spreading love, okay, so polyamory detected. He told me about this guy living with him that he called as a brother and two foster children that he raised a few years before which he met them when they are the age of 24 and 26.
I was flabbergasted, but yeah okay. Now get this; his brother needs to remind the kids that their father is not their lover, how awesome was that. I need to catch a breath a few times to let myself not thinking about naughty stuff, like, you know, stuff!
He reminded me about being classy, how to groom, set your bar. I had a vision like this a long time ago but the laid back environment in my current office get the best of me.
Will I meet him again, hopefully soon, his lips are awesome and I would love to suck on it just to feel how it taste like sucking on the suckable lips and thick goatee, ah yes, did I mention that he is half Arab?
He was sending me this vibes like a question about living together?
The one true question remains, AM I READY?

Now, office stuff.
HR just drop the latest org chart today and marks that by today the contest team will no longer reside in Central Sales however it will be in a new team under IM in SSPM, there is no fear of moving to a new scene because of RS, FE, and I already prepared about this for weeks. The only problem was, we will be used as a scapegoat, the first day the org chart was announced and the very same day we are blamed for something that we didn't commit. Bravo, well it's life and the intricate office politics.
Had a meeting with the new boss, he only give a guideline about a big picture, then sugar-coating shit like you will get a rise in one or two years. Dear Kanjeng Ratu Kidul, how far have I walk and badly bruises until my heart has no leap of joy on hearing this kind of shit, I just brush it off and smile; you will not buy me with this kind of words.
After the meeting, the now ex-good-looking-boss sat next to me and asked how was the meeting goes; had no notion whatsoever so I just give him blow by blow. It was one of the saddest moment on working or being with him, the worst kind of office politics where the other person clawed his way up by licking asses and the other one who hated you will strip your subordinates off from you; I can feel his sadness he was just acting manly as hell, but the fact that this conversation was done in a quiet manner and he looked at me with that puppy look, it’s just depressing AF.
He just told me "well this is how it goes when you're still working in a company" then he stood and pat me on my shoulder.
As you can see, the old good-looking bastard has a heart after all.

How Far



After that unfaithful night slash adultery holiday in Bandung, I tried swimming back to the dating pool. It's not that I missed the feeling of being fucked or anything, it's just that I started to believe that it is healthy, at least for my mental health. I redownload growler and tinder in which those two apps gave me a hell of a ride. mind you that I'm not exactly an ugly person, I still have my charms, but the trouble with dealing with someone else, my boss used to refer as "do not put your happiness in someone else's hand" is like a mantra to me, I took seriously on the word "hand" - my own hand.
 
Now, the dating pool is not necessarily kind to me, tried to date this gorgeous guy whom I met in tinder but he stood me up telling me he has no ride, he lives in pamulang then telling me he lives in mampang. Like seriously in Jakarta how on earth can you tell someone that you don't have a ride while gojek and grap are swarming the whole city like flies.  I believe I'm living a good life, I paid my tax, and living a minimum enemy per building. did I have bad karma or something, why is it so hard to find a good guy?
Though I still live in a state where I uphold a single life is an ultimate life, but still, a girl wants some tlc once in a while.

five years ago, I still have that fantasy where every time I met someone whom I think is a catch I instantly thinking about living a life together, where sleeping together were meant to be done by a couple only. well look at me now trying to hook up to two different guys and booking a hotel where we can shag. I still haven't done it yet, by the time I wrote this.

The question is, am I really ready? ready to have fun without having those emotional baggages.
 

Bandung - Day 4 - Final Day

Bandung 15 July 2019